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Bisexual people are attracted to similar traits that straight or gay people find attractive.
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Some research has found that bi people are more likely to be sexually curious.
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Another study found that bisexual men prefer characteristics like height in men and a small waist in women.
About 4% of Americans identify as bisexual, meaning they are attracted to more than one gender.
That’s according to a 2021 survey, up from just 1% in 2010.
There is limited research on what bisexual people find attractive.
However, the traits that bi people are attracted to are likely similar to the traits that straight or gay people are attracted to, said Joni Ogle, a board-certified sex addiction counselor who has worked with bi people and is CEO of the Heights Treatment Center , to Insider.
“The only difference is that most straight or gay people’s attraction is gendered, which means they’re aware that they’re attracted to a specific gender,” said Cay Crowe, a board-certified sex therapist at Orchid Toys, who works with people across the sex spectrum.
“For bisexuals, their attraction isn’t necessarily gendered.”
Here are the traits Crowe, Ogle, and limited studies suggest that bisexuals are most attracted to.
People who are curious and not afraid of intimate conversations
People who are naturally curious about others are more likely to engage in intimate conversations, even with strangers.
Some research has also shown that bisexual men and women report more sexual curiosity than straight or gay people.
“Bisexual individuals may value the ability to connect with someone on a deeper level and value those who can relate to their experiences,” Ogle said.
Be open and accept different sexual orientations, gender identities and forms of expression
Openness to experience is one of the five major personality traits that psychologists often study.
A study of straight Chinese couples found that openness can lead to better relationships and that people who are more open are more likely to interact with diverse groups of people.
Many bisexual people face bi-erasure, the bias that questions or denies that bi people really exist. So while there’s not necessarily research to confirm that bi people find openness attractive, it’s probably safe to suggest that openness might be particularly important to them, Ogle said.
“This could include accepting different sexual orientations, gender identities and expressions,” she said.
Someone who is confident and secure with their identity
Research on straight people has shown that confidence is very attractive in both men and women, but the same is almost certainly true of bi people.
That’s because confidence is linked to overall well-being for LGBTQ+ people, especially bi people, who struggle more with sexual self-acceptance than straight or gay people.
“Someone who is sure of their own identity can be more attractive to a bisexual person because of their confidence,” Ogle said.
Those with a sense of humor, but what kind of humor matters
It’s no surprise that humor is attractive, but the type of jokes you crack and your attachment style matter.
Overall, positive, self-uplifting humor is considered more attractive than self-deprecating humor. After all, people love confidence.
However, one study found that people with an insecure attachment style are more attracted to negative, self-deprecating humor than more positive humor.
While almost everyone can enjoy some form of humor and find it attractive, the type of humor you’re attracted to may have more to do with your attachment style than your sexuality.
be highly intelligent
Regardless of whether a person is looking for a short- or long-term partner, research on heterosexual couples has found that intelligence is often seen as an attractive trait in both men and women.
Additionally, some bi people also identify as sapiosexual, aka attracted to high intelligence (although other sapiosexual people may be straight, gay, or other orientations).
Physical characteristics such as height in men and large breasts in women
The looks, the smell, and even the sounds your partner makes play a big part in attraction.
In short, most people want to be with someone they are physically attracted to, and bisexual people are no different.
Research on bisexual men has found that they are attracted to the traits that are stereotypically considered attractive in both men and women. And these characteristics differ depending on the gender of the person under consideration.
For example, a bisexual person may be attracted to men who are tall or masculine in appearance and women who have small waists and larger breasts.
“Some bisexual people may be attracted to different qualities in men than in women,” Ogle said.
Others may find that they are physically attracted to the same type of appearance (male, female, androgynous, or other) regardless of the person’s gender.
March to the beat of your own drum and ignore social norms
The stereotype holds that men prefer submissive or compliant women while women prefer non-compliant men. However, research on heterosexual couples has found that both men and women prefer a partner who marches to the beat of their own drum.
There’s no bisexual equivalent to this research, but Ogle said that people who accept their own differences may be more attractive to bisexual people who want a partner who’s okay with a bit of nonconformity.
“Knowing that their partner will accept them regardless of their identity can give bisexual people the confidence to be open about themselves and form a supportive, trusting relationship,” she said.
Someone who shares your core beliefs
Whether we’re looking for a casual fling or looking to build a life together, most of us want partners we can have fun with and talk about our passions with.
“People are attracted to people with whom they share interests, values, and beliefs,” Crowe said.
Like others, bi people are more likely to be attracted to people who share a love of rescued animals, cliff jumping, or other hobbies and values that get your heart pumping.
Ready to be romantic and connect on a deeper level
Bisexual people, like everyone else, want emotionally rich, fulfilling relationships — not just sex. So it’s no surprise that they are attracted to romance.
One study (in which men rated female attractiveness and vice versa, regardless of orientation) found that romantic connections are an important trait in both men and women.
Romance means different things to different people: maybe it’s flower petals on the bed, a candlelit dinner, or just going out with the kids so you can have some alone time.
Whatever your particular type of romance, it’s important to feeling content in both short- and long-term relationships.
Have a reassuring and trustworthy personality
Warmth and trustworthiness are desirable traits in both men and women, especially for people looking for a long-term partner. These qualities give people a sense of security and closeness and can even predict marital bliss.
The attraction is very individual, for people who are gay, straight, bi or completely differently oriented.
“Everyone’s attraction is unique and very personal because everyone experiences different levels of sexual and romantic attraction in different ways,” Ogle said.
Read the original article on Business Insider
