by Modern life is confusing – and nowhere more so than in fashion. Take Harry Styles. He was voted the world’s best-dressed musician by GQ last year, pictured in a high-shine Gucci jumpsuit and fluorescent pink coat at Coachella. He was named one of the world’s best dressed men by Glamor magazine in February, pictured in the black velvet number he wore to this year’s Brit Awards.
Styles recently posted a picture of himself in a One Direction 2011 Tour t-shirt, leading fans to predict a reunion, with sales of said t-shirt skyrocketing. The Watermelon Sugar singer is a man who could wear a garbage bag and look like a million bucks.
So what’s his secret? Is it all down to his chiseled good looks, or can a common man measure up without breaking the bank? Armed with some top tips, I hit charity stores and thrift websites to try and recreate some styles for myself.
Monday
festival styles
My first pit stop is a local charity shop that sells everything from Paul Daniels Magic Show kits to duck teapots. Will I be lucky enough to find my first Styles outfit — the fluffy jacket and shiny pants combo he wore to Coachella in 2022?
Browsing through the women’s rails, I find a good approximation of the Strides. There is a problem. Styles is a strapping six-footer, but even he would wriggle in these monsters. I lug them together with a glittery belt, but there’s so much excess flare I could camp under them in Glastonbury.
The pink fluffy jacket from the rail above fits a lot better. I look in the mirror. Style’s wig? Yes. styles did? Check over. Keyword photo shoot.
I’m so busy making love on camera that I hardly notice the small group of schoolgirls who want to know what I’m up to.
“Oh, we were thinking of you was Harry Styles; Can we have your autograph?” they say sarcastically.
Style Similarity: 🍉🍉🍉🍉
Model is wearing: charity shop, fluffy pink jacket (£17); Metallic Pink Charity Shop Trousers (£13); Charity Shop Glitter Belt (£6)
Tuesday
harlequin styles
Styles is as hip on the red carpet as it is on stage. My next outfit is the harlequin jumpsuit he wore to the Grammys last month. I sew a women’s jumpsuit from the charity store’s line of merchandise and a baby playmat that I find in a trash can. I don’t have a red carpet, but when I stroll through the garden I enjoy my upcycling. After all, sustainable fashion is a must.
“Someone’s trash is someone else’s treasure,” agrees Amy Powney, creative director of sustainable fashion brand Mother of Pearl. “If you’re a celebrity, you should be like, ‘Can another celebrity wear this?’ Or it’s about buying things that you wear over and over again and when you’re done, resell or recycle.”
She is right. There’s no reason Styles couldn’t borrow the meat dress from Lady Gaga, right The Liz Hurley dress. He would look amazing.
As for Treasures, I doubt anyone would consider my outfit – now with an added crotch hole where it splits – anything but highly inappropriate.
Style Similarity: 🍉🍉
Model wears: Charity Shop jumpsuit (£3); discarded baby mat (free); Orange Crocs Charity Shop (£10)
Wednesday
pirouette styles
I’m recreating Saturday Night Live 2019’s ballerina styles by telling eBay I’m looking for an embarrassing outfit to sew up my mate for his bachelorette party. There’s nothing worse than showing up and finding someone wearing the same thing as you…
“I used to hate it,” says Ellis Ranson, who styled Kate and Rio Ferdinand for this year’s Brits. “Styling is about pushing the customer out of their comfort zone. You can push this pretty far with Harry.”
I’m certainly out of my comfort zone pirouetting on the side of my bathtub because Linda, the Guardian photographer, assures me it will look artistic. Being styles comes with risks. Like last year, when he was hit in the face by a Skittle and Skittles ran a full-page ad in the Los Angeles Times reminding fans not to throw candy at him. I hope I don’t slip while my tights splatter my nadger with every croisé.
Style Similarity: 🍉🍉🍉
Model is wearing: tutu from eBay (£17), tights from Vinted (£4), pink top from Vinted (£4)
Thursday
Fashion styles
To celebrate becoming the first male solo cover star in Vogue’s 127-year history, Styles wore a dress. To celebrate my appearance as the first G2 cover star in Styles Drag, I get caught up in an eBay bidding war for wedding dresses.
It’s windy in my community square; now I know how Marilyn Monroe felt standing over that air vent. Quite a wind blows through my underworld. Neither moms with strollers nor a guy doing squat thrusts make a head.
In 2017, a study explained that Styles’ good looks were due to the spaces between his facial features. His eyes alone score 98.15 on a scale where 100 equals perfection. My budget extends to charity shop purchases, but not facial corrections. Maybe Nancy Mitchell, a 24-year-old chiropractic assistant, model, and actress, can tell me what it’s like to be super attractive after TikTok users started saying she looked like Styles.
Related: How Harry Styles became the face of gender-neutral fashion
“We are both Aquarius. We have similar mannerisms. I don’t adhere to gender stereotypes. Harry wears dresses; I’ve always dressed like a man. Our mothers are both called Anne. How similar can you become?” she says.
In the flesh, Mitchell looks totally like the real McStyles. But the big question is: is she into styles?
“Harry’s an attractive guy, but I don’t think attraction is superficial. I would have to get to know him first.” That’s right!
Style similarity (me): 🍉🍉🍉
Style Similarity (Mitchell): 🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉
He wears: eBay wedding dress (£35), Vinted tuxedo (£6). She is wearing: Black crushed velvet jacket in Vinted (£7), Black flared trousers in Vinted (£12)
Friday
Halloween styles
Styles dressed as Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz for a Halloween 2021 concert in New York. This granny pant ruffle robe is the most ridiculous one yet, although oddly enough I’m most comfortable in it.
Is there room for comedy in fashion? “The funniest fashion does have a touch of comedy,” says stylish comedian Tom Allen. “If you go back 200 or 300 years, there was a great sense of playfulness with puff sleeves and crinoline skirts. People were ebullient and extravagant.
“Elton John and Freddie Mercury were very playfully dressed. Harry Styles is doing that for a newer generation. Clothing is often a protest, a way of saying, ‘I’m going to put a positive stamp on a world that feels increasingly scary.’”
I certainly look scary in this getup. To lighten the mood, I sip a beer out of my shoe like Styles did in Australia. Now my trainer is soaked.
Style Similarity: 🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉
Model wears Vinted Check Summer Dress (£4), Vinted Tights (£4), White Lace Vinted Shorts (£6), eBay Hair Clip (£3)
Saturday
pinstripes styles
Any outfit that Styles looks great in makes me look just as terrible. For reference, I should test another Harry. But Harry who? houdini? Too flexible. Kane? Too bearded. Duke of Sussex? nope If only I could think of another Harry.
“It’s great because you can get away with anything,” says Harry Hill, as I stop by to wonder what it’s like to be a Hill instead of a Styles. Hill gets his suits and shirts from a bespoke tailor in Soho. And his yellow bake-off sweater? “A gift from my wife.” I love Hill and could never replace him. All that camera stuff and seven years of medical training is way too much work.
hill likeness: 🥚🥚
Model wears: eBay Carnival costume (£24)
Sunday
Inflatable Harry
The dream is to get Styles to comment. I send him my photos but he doesn’t reply as he’s on tour. Oh well.
I’m trying some other options. Electrical contractor Barry Styles won’t call me. A professional Midlands singer, Barry Styles, who has sold more than 26,000 copies of his album Wedding Day Songs, thinks my idea for a Styles parody is “undoubtedly a good idea” but prefers not to be interviewed.
So I speak to Harri, the 29-year-old South Indian designer behind this year’s most talked-about outfit, the inflatable suit Sam Smith wore for the Brits. How do I make one like this?
“It’s 100% latex and consists of 80 panels glued together by hand. It takes a lot of math to get the shape,” Harri tells me at his show at London Fashion Week. “It’s based on my dog Kai, a seven-year-old pug, and how he sees me from his perspective.”
Similar Harri suits sell for £4,000. My inflatable bobbler costume attempt doesn’t want to be in a hurry anywhere. “It’s casual wear to make a statement,” Harri continues.
What would he create if Styles got in touch? “I know exactly what,” he says, smiling. “A bright, colorful pant with no air.”
Similarity to Smith: 🐕🐕
Model wears: morph suits inflatable megamorph costume (£30)
Monday
bedtime styles
After a week as Styles I hardly feel like getting dressed anymore. Except — didn’t he even wear a pair of tailored Gucci polka dot pajamas to read a CBeebies bedtime story? Damned! He even looks hot in his pajamas.
That’s it. I’m officially retiring to my scruffy jeans and hoodie.
Style Similarity: 🍉🍉
Model wears: Vinted men’s red tartan pajamas (£8), Homer Simpson slippers (own model)
Amy Powney’s Fashion Reimagined is in theaters now. Tom Allen is on tour right now. Tony! (The Tony Blair Rock Opera) by Harry Hill and Steve Brown is touring from April
